(Source: jockalot, via the-absolute-best-gifs)

citizenjolras:

iamartemisday:

celticpyro:

iopele:

piercingsandink:

sine–qua-non:

sine–qua-non:

In the movie The Santa Clause, one becomes Santa by putting on the red coat after the death of the previous Santa. Even ignoring how morbid this premise is on its own, it’s possible that there’s another even darker level to the story. When Scott Calvin shows up at the North Pole as the new Santa, not only do the elves not appear surprised, they seem happy to see him and not at all upset about the Santa he replaced. And furthermore, at the very beginning of the movie, we see an elf standing with a crowd of children outside a toy store near Scott’s house. Why would she already be there if she didn’t have some sort of prior knowledge of what was going to occur? This leaves me no choice but to conclude that the elves not only hated the previous Santa but actually orchestrated his demise.

tl;dr: In The Santa Clause, the elves totally murdered the previous Santa.

Update: In The Santa Clause 2, the Easter Bunny says kids are 86% happier since Scott became Santa.  86%.  Clearly, the last Santa was so terrible, the elves had to off him.

Also, according to The Santa Clause 2, Santa has to be married in order to remain Santa, which means that the previous Santa must have been married - but there’s no Mrs. Clause around when Scott gets to the North Pole.  What happened to her?

And finally, I think this raises some pretty serious questions about Bernard’s sudden disappearance in between The Santa Clause 2 and 3.  Just how badly did Curtis want to be Head Elf?

Just how many people have the elves murdered?  Clearly those rosy cheeks and innocent, childlike faces are hiding some pretty dark secrets.

Oh my god

now this is the kind of Christmas post I want on my dash

The Santa Clause was just a Yuletide Julius Caesar.

Beware the Yules of December!

Yulius Caesar

(Source: whatsnextapollo, via haaaaaaaaave-you-met-ted)

benepla:

wumblr:

benepla:

those Spotify Wrapped ads are popping up around Chicago and could you imagine seeing a fucking billboard calling you out specifically. like, if i saw an ad that said “to the person in Chicago who listened to a playlist called ‘depwession’ for 800 hours…please call a therapist” i’d fly to Spotify HQ with the head of Ed Sheeran and declare war on their kind

bec, much like the creme brulee brownie recipe, the spotify ads are not real. they were written by advertisers. they are telling lies. writing is fake. i know this in my heart to be true because i have LOOKED for the clam meditation playlist

several things about this reply haunt me. first of all this person referred to me by first name even tho i don’t know them, my name’s not on my blog, and they don’t follow me. second of all they told me something that is almost certainly true and i am 100% galaxy brained over it. can u dm me? tell me secrets

(via oh--captain--my-captain)

asmilinggoddess:

this is probably my favorite joke from futurama tbh

(Source: lesbianshepard, via ruinedchildhood)

throwbackblr:

Mr. Hyunh only wants one thing, and that’s to see his daughter. I know it’s a long shot, but if I could find her and bring them together, it’d be the best Christmas gift I could give Mr. Hyunh!
Arnold’s Christmas  | Air Date: December 11th, 1996

(Source: throwbackblr, via ruinedchildhood)

(Source: boredkyara, via volcainist)

pyrlspite:

tumblr is like wading through everyone else’s garbage until you find something good and go “ah. this is good” and take it and display it in your own garbage pile

(via ruinedchildhood)

crpssucks:

Me: *realizes my vision is blurry*

Me: *does mental body scan to make sure this is the only symptom I’m currently having*

Me: *realizes I’m not wearing my glasses*

Me: Oh, thank god.

(via chronicillnessmemes)

awonderingliz:

Bach’s Cello Suite No. 1 in G, Prélude

(via myinternalworld)

dannysphototherapy:

deinodrinkspixels:

blackphoenix1977:

smurflewis:

rilgon:

lieutenantbites:

nosdrinker:

eveltal:

supamuthafuckinvillain:

sageoftenpaths:

WOW

I’m pretty sure you’ve reached Legendary Status when the God of Skating, Tony Hawk looses his shit

That’s literally the move Christ Air from the first tony hawk pro skater game

HE REALLY DID IT

holy

FUCKING SHIT

so wait

someone literally had the balls of vibranium it takes to attempt christ air

in front of Tony Hawk

AND STUCK IT

jfc

Tony Hawk literally says “Are you kidding me” because that move from the video game is a made up move that know one thought would be humanly possible

Wow

imádom ezt

Makers of Tony Hawk Pro Skater: “Okay let’s do some silly shit called the Air Christ. It’s just a cool looking move no one will ever try it for real.”

Skater in the future: “I don’t even need you to hold my beer. Just get the camera ready….”

(via ruinedchildhood)